i want to read every history book found in this house, because i have an intense obsession over the past. to perhaps criticize it, or long for it. or both at the same time. it’s just open to so much manipulation, far unlike the present. how straight the present is. how unworkable the future seems. no, the past is an easy sculpting material. it can be anything you make it to be. (here is where you see the irony in what i’m saying, and then realize how true it is, even when it should be the opposite of what i’m saying. and i will continue similarly:) the present. and more importantly the future. how fundamentally workable it is, and yet i can’t move it. i can’t see it. i can’t shape it. it seems set. and i can’t appreciate the irony in that. i hope no one ever does. the future is the only thing that is able to be sculpted into whatever true being we want it to be, if only to make the universe a little less predictable.
so you get it. what does that mean anymore. we’re all told the right way to live, we hear profound things everyday and even more than that, we agree with them. but it’s like the extra 4 servings of chips we don’t notice consuming. we are just consumers. we consume what we need to set free. the universe only functions as chaos is released into it.
